DAY 3:
EXPERIENCING FEELINGS / HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Continuation of working with
feelings
Prepare in
advance: rolled up socks, pen, paper
and adhesive tape for the evil wall
Copy the instructions (see
below).
Make a dream catcher: fresh twigs (otherwise they
won't bend. Wash your hands thoroughly afterwards, ivy branches are poisonous,
for example). Have beads, wool and feathers at hand.
________________________________________________________
How is your bear power
going!!?? …………………………………
Grounding exercise. The children become a tree.
To help children become more empowered (with both feet on the ground), we do a grounding exercise.
Draw a tree without roots
and tell them that if there is a storm, the tree will quickly blow over. Then
draw the roots under the ground that grow in all directions, just like the
branches above the ground, so that it is well "grounded".
Demonstrate: Stand with your
feet firmly on the ground, put your arms in the air and let them sway a little.
You are now just like a tree with roots that go into the ground and your arms
are the branches and your legs are the trunk. Just wobble a little. You cannot
fall over, because your roots are very deep in the ground, also from your
tailbone.
You can also do this
exercise at school if you cannot concentrate very well, then go to the toilet
and do the exercise in your mind, after which you can stay "attentive"
better and no longer have your thoughts somewhere else.
Feelings give you a sign of
!pay attention! something happened that I don't like or do like.
Feelings come... and go. And
once you've looked at them and worked with them, you can let them go more
easily.
Show the emotional person
from day 2 and go through it again:
Then turn the colored
drawing over and ask: when are you sad,
scared, angry, do you have a stomach ache, worries on your mind or are you
HAPPY?
Carol
Caterpillar
This caterpillar is not just any caterpillar. She is a wise, friendly caterpillar, who prefers to be near children. That is why she is here. Carol is wise, because she knows everything about life. She has already experienced everything and has lived many parts of life. Just look at all those parts, all those colours of her body. There are beautiful parts, sweet parts, scared, stupid, boring, crazy and very nasty parts. Sad parts, pleasant parts, painful parts. Maybe you know that in your own life too. Then you live a pleasant part again, or maybe two or more parts, and then there is another boring or sad part. Sometimes a sad part can last a very long time, but as you can see, eventually another part always comes.
Guided fantasy: The
forest and the house ……
We are in a
forest, a very beautiful forest, it looks the way you want it to……..
The trees have
a color as you want them to be, brown, green, pink, blue or maybe all kinds of
colors. The ground you walk on is also as you want it, grass, or earth, sand,
or stones, crystal but it can also be something completely different. It's
entirely up to you…….
There are also
elves, gnomes, fairies, animals or... something completely different.
You can make
it yourself as you want it, it's your forest and it's very nice there. There's
also a river flowing through the forest, just walk there in your thoughts, it's
very cozy and you can hear the water rippling in the wind.
Just take a
good look around you to see what it looks like. Exactly as you like it.......
Then you walk
a little further and you see a beautiful plant with white roses. Pick a
beautiful white rose, take it further into the forest. Further on you see an
open space in the forest and there is a house. You can decide for yourself what
the house looks like.
There is a
door in the house, the key is in your pocket. You put it in the lock and then
you push the door open.
Just look
around you to see what it looks like. There is a hatch, a kind of door, in the
floor, go there and open the hatch.
It is very
nice in this house because it is your house.
If it is dark
downstairs, take a lamp with you that is next to the hatch on the floor. Go
down the stairs, it is very nice here, there is something downstairs that is
yours and that is very important to you. Just put the White Rose there……
You stand
there for a moment and then climb the stairs again……
You look
around one more time and go outside again. You lock the door with the key……
It is very
nice and beautiful in the garden. Just look around…..
The sun is
shining and you let the sun warm you up. And then you walk away from the house
again and come back to where you are now…….
Open your eyes
and sit quietly for a moment. Wobble your hands and feet for a while and enjoy
while stretching your body.
Feelings, they are allowed
to be there. We all have them. You don't have to hide them. Like for example
ANGRY (Children often start screaming when they are
angry)
You can vent your anger with
three body parts:
your mouth:
bite, spit, scream, swear: shout that you are very angry.
your hands:
pinch, punch, pull, push: tear, make wads, throw clay, hit, fight a punching
bag, or your pillow, but never push your brother or sister!
your feet:
stamp, kick a cardboard box, run, kick / hit.
What are your nasty
thoughts, feelings?
What do you do
when you are angry?
Angry wall
Write on paper what you are
very angry about.
Then you hang it up (with
tape on the wall or door), and you throw rolled up socks, soft balls, clay or
wads of paper at it and you are allowed to scream. As loud as you can. And say
out loud: I am angry because….. or It is not fair that……
1. ..........(example:
because I miss my father,
2. ..........(example: that
my mother has to work all day,
3. ..........(example:
because my parents are divorced.
Tips to feel
less angry
ask the
children what helps……………..
- tell someone why you are
angry or draw a picture about the things you are angry about
- make a scratch drawing
- tear up old newspapers
(make sure you clean them up afterwards, otherwise someone else will get
angry!)
- punch a pillow, while
telling why you are angry
- kick a ball outside, while
thinking about what you are angry about
Play
music / show video You never walk alone. This was sung in a
football stadium in Liverpool. Let the children sing along and sway their arms
in the air. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE1
CRAFTS:
Make a nasty
thought catcher / dream catcher - AFRAID
We are going to make a thought catcher / dream catcher.
A thought catcher / dream
catcher helps you and keeps your bad thoughts and annoying dreams away when you
go to sleep.
For example, when you are
thinking about mom or dad, how it would have been if they were still together.
If you keep worrying, also about the things you didn't like that day, then you
will have trouble falling asleep.
And if all goes well, it
will go better if you hang the nasty thoughts / dream catcher in your bedroom.
You can give the things that make you sad, to the dream catcher; they will then
remain behind the beads, strings and feathers. The good dreams are allowed to
pass through.
(A living twig, wool, beads,
feathers (find and clean along the side of the ditch or buy at the garden
centre).
(Bend the twig into a
circle. Where the ends overlap, wrap the
wool around it, you can also wrap it around the entire twig.
With wool you also make the
web. If possible, make the entire web with one color. You can put beads in it,
so that you can stick feathers in it. Make a loop at the top, so that the dream
catcher can be hung up. At the bottom, hang three loose strings with a bead on
it, through which another feather can be stuck.)
The dream catcher that we
make originally comes from the Indians and is used to help a child sleep better
because it keeps away bad thoughts and nasty dreams. It is not only great fun
to make a thought/dream catcher yourself, from a twig and threads of wool, but
according to the children it really helps!!!
When do you
get scared? …………………………..
I get scared
when …….
(I watch scary movies, I am home alone, when daddy is away)
How do you see
that? You
can see that on the outside of me……. (because I have big eyes and get scared
easily)
Then I want
to….. (eat
chips during scary movies; when I am home alone, stay with the babysitter or
she stays with me, until mommy or daddy comes back)
Do you ever
dream? What do you dream then? .............................
Do you ever
dream about mommy or daddy? ...........................
Or what do you
sometimes think then: ……………………
While making the nasty
thoughts/dream catcher, have them tell you about bad thoughts/dreams if there
are any: …………
Do you
feel GUILTY about something?
Do you ever wonder if it is
your fault that your father and mother broke up? It is never the children's
fault that this happened!
When a father and mother
break up, they do so because they no longer love each other enough to continue
living together.
Have you ever argued with
your father or mother or been angry with your father or mother? Everyone argues
no wand then, often because they are tired or have misunderstood something the
other person said. That is very normal. It is good to talk about it and
apologize to the others if you were the one who got angry.
LONELY
Do you ever feel lonely?
……………
What are the fun things you
did with your mom and dad?.......
What fun things do you do
with your brother/sister?.......
What fun things do you do
with your father/mother?.......
What fun things do you do at
school?......
Who can you do fun things
with now? (Friends)…….
Just
very HAPPY
You are allowed to be happy,
when you feel cheerful.
What makes you happy?
……………………………………………………
Singing helps when you feel
sad. Shall we sing a song together? ………………………
What makes you
happy?
Fun: if you can no longer
live with your father and mother together at the same time, it is still nice to
have fun. Life goes on after the divorce; that is just the way it is. You can't
do anything about it and you can't turn it back either.
HAPPY: Together
we are going to make a list of 10 things that make you happy. …………………………………………
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
What would you like to do
with your mother?....... What would you like to do with your father?.......
Laughter exercise
Laughter is healthy. It
releases a substance in your head, your brain, which makes you feel happier.
You can do a laughter
exercise with the children (see below).
Or playfully, first let only
the girls giggle, then only the boys, then one row, then the other row, then
the whole class.
In the Netherlands, it is
mainly Dhyan Sutorius who propagates Osho's ideas and also applies them very
practically. His laughter meditation is a structured exercise of fifteen minutes that
consists of three parts.
1. The first five minutes
are spent on stretching exercises: arms in the air, to the left, then to the
right. Conscious breathing, standing on your toes, and tensing and relaxing the
facial muscles.
2. Then you have to laugh.
This comes easily in groups. When you do the exercises alone at home, you just
have to pretend to laugh, but quite soon you have to laugh at your own
attempts. And then laughter comes spontaneously. It is important to focus on
the NOW. And to think about the problem that you are struggling with the most
at this moment: your 'favorite problem'. This too may take some getting used to
at first.
3. The last five minutes you
have to become silent again. You close your eyes and become calm again. Now you
breathe without producing (laughing) sounds. You look inside, and whatever you
find there, you surround it with a ‘yes’. Even if you feel pain, resistance, or
whatever: you say yes to it.
Laughing at your biggest
problem is an approach that seems to work. You start to accept it with all its
imperfections. There comes much more vitality, creativity and fun in your life.
LOVE /
LOVING:
Children are also allowed to
love their father’s (girl)friend or their mother’s (boy)friend. That doesn't
mean they love their own father or mother any less.
Creating your personal
manual (see below)
To learn how to deal with
feelings, it is useful to get to know them first.
We are creating a manual
that all family members can participate in.
Just as you know what a
child likes to eat, it is useful to know what a child likes when he or she is
feeling sad, scared, angry, or tired, etc.
Write down as many feelings
as you can think of. (sadness, angry, abandoned, lonely, can't believe what
happened, confused, not feeling like doing anything, tired, ashamed, scared,
stomach ache, jealous of other children, worried)
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE
FROM ……………………….
Write down as
many feelings as you can think of………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
What makes you
happy, angry, scared, sad,
etc.?..................................................
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
If you have
that feeling, how does someone else see that on the outside?
(If you don't
know, just look in the mirror)…………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
What do you
need then? ………………………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………..
How can you
take care of that? ……………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Who can help
you with this? ……………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
How can you
help yourself when no one is there? ………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
This is your
user manual. Hang this manual in the hallway or kitchen, so that everyone can
take it into account.
===========================================
This is the end of DAY 3
Give the personal user manual and
dream/thought catcher.
At home
You can write your own life
story in the form of a fairy tale, FROM 9 YEARS. Once upon a time ………, where
you look from the moment you were born, until you later became very old.
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